Hidden Secrets
Leona Palmer Haag
Chapter 6
Jenn curled up in bed and tried to sleep. She tossed
one way and then another. Back in her former innocent days when Nick was
supposedly off to some life insurance convention she'd give up trying to sleep
on nights like this by turning on her bedside lamp and reading a good book.
Some mystery overflowing with chases and intrigue. Pages filled with footsteps
in the night, darkness, screams, skeletons falling out of closets, lost
treasures and hidden secrets. Twists. Turns. Surprises. Frights. The deep
unknown.
Jenn turned the light on and the shadows filling the
corners of the bedroom cowered back. Dark looming shapes turned into innocent
pieces of furniture. She looked at the stack of books available on the
nightstand now. Nursery rhymes. Mother Goose. A child's songbook. A catalog of
kid's toys, clothes, learning kits, art supplies and musical instruments—enough
to make any preschool teacher like herself beg for a raise. She could quote
every rhyme and story, sing every alphabet song ever written and explain the
advantages of owning all the kid's leaning toys like a trained saleswoman. But
not tonight.
She leaned over the bed and pulled up the dust ruffle
to see if there was something more challenging and mind engaging. She
discovered two stacks of books on child rearing—all read two or three times and
dog-eared. Next to them were a couple stacks on how to successfully get
pregnant and stay that way for nine months—all with bookmarks on significant
pages. None had really worked. Next was a huge pile of mysteries mostly hidden
behind the others. Nothing she hadn't read. Nothing she wanted to read again.
Jenn chose something she’d already read: You and Your Good News. The back cover
read: Good news! Thousands of women
around the world have followed the guidelines contained within this book and now
hold their own bundles of joy in their arms. You can too!
Jenn glanced at her bedroom door open a few inches so
she could hear Katie if she awoke. Her two-year old daughter was sleeping just
twenty feet away, but not because of some book. Her life was the miraculous result
of years of following doctor's orders, painful tests and expensive treatments,
something she'd willingly go through again for another baby—if they could
afford it.
Jenn sighed and settled in to read encouraging words
that wouldn't make a difference in her life. They would never magically produce
a son—or another daughter. That was all up to her and Nick and a dozen doctors
and a troop of nurses and maybe ten-thousand specialists and a whole chemical
company and a bed she refused to budge from for nine months.
When the words on the pages began to blur, Jenn set
the book aside. She flipped out the lamp and closed her eyes. Nick's face
floated before her. He had a nice smile containing a hint of humor as if he
knew a secret. It never changed. He wore his hair short and choppy. He had dark,
chocolaty brown eyes and always had a nice tan. He had a way of draping his arm
across her shoulder and making her feel like she was the only important person
in his life—until Katie climbed up on his knee. That's when daughter charm took
over, which was fine with her. She loved watching them interact. She’d never
had a dad, and the only dad she’d ever observed had been Matt’s.
Nick loved to toss Katie up and catch her.
"Daddy's little bouncing baby beach ball," he'd say. Katie would
giggle and beg for more. Always trusted her father. Always loved his attention.
And Jenn loved the interference their daughter received in her relationship
with her husband. They were a perfect family.
Except…
Jenn crawled out of bed and made her way to the
bathroom. She got a drink and studied her reflection in the mirror as she
sipped the water. Her eyes were an open window into her soul and revealed
troubling fright deep inside. Hopefully she was the only one who saw it. The
only person who felt it. The only one who knew
it.
Maybe Nick knew it was there. Except Nick wasn't home
much. He was always gone. Somewhere unknown. Working. Doing scary things. He
didn't really know how she felt because he wasn't around much. He couldn't
fully witness the truth she lived but tried to hide. And with him gone, how was
she ever going to get pregnant! Jenn pulled a face in the mirror and then sat on
the side of the tub to brush away tears.
Cold and tired, Jenn finally wiped her cheeks dry and
crept to the front room and stood behind the door in the dark for several
seconds before she dared lean over and pull the front window curtain aside half
an inch. She peered out into the night. Winter mist hung in the air like
ghostly tendrils. Nothing stirred. The streetlight halfway down the block pried
through and cast faint shadows that looked like grasping fingers. A shrub by
the front door sent eerie darkness across the porch. A black cat wandered from
a pool of darkness and crossed the street and disappeared into another dark
gaping hole.
Jenn stepped back and let the curtain fall into place.
Where was Nick? The only answer she had was in the dark world out there. She'd
heard enough talk about his job since she'd learned he was an undercover agent
to know that darkness could be worse than nighttime. Was he safe? In prison?
Alive?
Jenn shivered. She checked the dead bolt, checked
again and then triple checked. It felt like a murder mystery was swirling
around in the mist with only a few flimsy inches of wood between her and
terror. Icy twisting tentacles were feeling, reaching, searching, grasping all
the way from her neighborhood toward Nick. Simultaneously they tried to pry through
her front door.
Jenn turned away from the darkness and crept down the
hall. She silently pushed Katie’s door open wider and peeked in. She was asleep—still
snuggled contentedly in her cozy pink blankets like a pleasant summer daydream existing
a million miles away from fear. That was the only thing right with the night.
Jenn tip-toed to her own bed and huddled under the
covers. She willed her breath to remain even and her heart to calm. She sent
love thoughts out to Nick. Safety thoughts. Hope thoughts.
It wasn't much, but it was all she could do.
End Chapter 6
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