My Novel: Chapter 19

Running:

As a young mom I was downstairs sewing one day when I heard water running nearby. Funny, but I didn't remember starting the washing machine or dishwasher. And it didn't sound like water coursing through drains as it exited any of the upstairs sinks. It was much too close. I got up to check and five steps later found water pouring through the floor like a shower below the front entry. I ran upstairs and found my little boys gleefully running through the sprinkler inside the house. Some bigger kids had been bullying them so they simple came inside. Now you know one reason why you should always be in shape to run!

Writing:

Writing goes beyond the technique of making letters or typing on a keyboard. Writing Tip: Read good books. See what others are doing with their talents. Discover what appeals to you, but also try out different techniques, styles, genres and voices. Learn some of the basics and hone in on what speaks to you. It's not an overnight thing--learning how to write.

If you want to write, read.

Secrets at Midnight

Leona Palmer Haag

Chapter 20

Through a thin opening between the draperies covering the windows in the French doors, Jenn studied a faint blue glow—light cast from Matt's computer screen. She lay for hours in darkness unable to sleep, even unable to shut her eyes as it flickered. She intently listened, but the keystrokes were too soft to hear. What lies he was inventing, she had no idea. 

Jenn felt sorry for Matt. What had changed the kid she'd known since her diaper days—the kid who pumped her on his bike while her legs stuck out like wooden pegs? He’d bought her powdered sugar donuts and taught her to whistle. Now what did he do—toss her in his car and head across the country?

Had Matt broken? Like grabbing a handful of darts, attaching labels and tossing them at a target, Jenn tried to pin down the cause of his mental collapse. Did college hit the bulls-eye? He’d left Houston and never been the same. She mulled over his college years, but knew so little about them that she couldn’t be certain if it was the only thing that had knocked him off course.

There were also his marriages. After he’d lost Rebecca and their unborn baby he’d been alone for many years. Had solitary confinement pushed him over the edge? Maybe it was his recent marriage to Monica the Amazing—the super woman who had everything and did it all.

Should she blame herself? He’d come home one summer during college to help his dad settle affairs after his mom died, and he’d remained until fall. He’d taken her to a movie, to a dance and out for ice cream. They’d kissed. He’d talked about marriage—if she’d hurry and grow up. But his sudden interest in religion, something she, Matt and Shawn had sworn they’d never tangle with, interfered as he tried to tell her about God and new feelings stirring inside him. When she’d asked what part religion would play in their lives he’d said, quote, unquote, “We’ll compromise, Jenn. We’ll work things out between us.”

The summer closed with a shouting match fueled by combustible words—far short of working anything out. He’d left for another semester, then his life took an unexpected turn: he headed to Mexico to serve as a volunteer minister.

All the repair work and patching up Jenn had planned when he came home for Christmas—a promise he’d made but never kept because he’d headed south of the border—were left undone. But twice he’d written her, and twice she’d replied—coolly—aside from warning him he needed to repent. She’d loved using that word on him, dishing out a dose of his own medicine. In the meantime she’d dug into religious facts—gathering ammo—asking her Christian friends for details about his new faith and every religious topic imaginable. So many concepts about good and evil, hell and paradise and hundreds of other obscure things filled her brain, making her realize no one knew the truth, not even Matt.

By the time he returned....

Matt never really came back.

His body and face showed up at her work one afternoon looking dozens of pounds lighter, scrubbed, polished and smiling from ear to ear, but by then she was married to Gary.

Maybe the diamond on her finger had broken him.

He’d retreated after congratulating her and wishing her the best—all while smiling. Could what she was facing now be some kind of sick retaliation?

Jenn rose and paced the bedroom. Matt had reentered her life several years later while she was living with Shawn and his second wife in Alabama. Since that fateful day he’d never been far away, and had regained friend and confidant status. But maybe deep down he resented introducing her to Nick.

As Jenn’s mind raced over the friendship Nick and Matt had, she found no indication Matt may have snapped because of her husband. There were no vaguely hidden clues of problems. They were guys who could burp like trolls, yell like maniacs during basketball playoffs and boast about stupid things like eradicating mice outside the back door.

Sitting on a chair near the window, wandering through seldom dredged up memories, Jenn found herself stepping far from her original path—figuring Matt out—and recalled Gary. He’d entered her life only days after Matt exited: sweet, indescribably charming, the most gorgeous guy at high school. Why wouldn’t she be flattered when he chose her? During the next two years they’d spun dreams together: finish high school, marry, tour Europe, earn college degrees, buy two cars and a house, have two kids, choose which breed of dog they wanted.

Two days after graduation and feeling grown up, they tied the knot and celebrated with champagne. Life moved along perfectly until Gary took a new job and dropped out of college. He worked new hours, earned a hefty income, made new friends—and his combined new circumstances and new acquaintances enticed him into new habits: hard liquor, drugs, lies, wife beating and murder.

Gracie, their daughter, took her first breath in a dark cellar weeks before she should have arrived, and only hours after Jenn had been brutally beaten and thrust down the stairs. The baby whimpered and took her last breath in Jenn’s arms while her father was oblivious to her arrival and departure—lost in drugs with his new friends only a few feet above them. The man who had once been a perfect Christian and had almost converted her had become a killer.

Wiping away tears, Jenn crossed the bedroom and knelt beside the bed where Katie slept. Her fingers caressed her daughter’s soft curls and her lips brushed the top of her head. Had Matt surpassed Gary in evilness?

Crawling into bed beside Katie, Jenn vowed she’d never let anyone destroy her daughter. She didn’t know how she’d prevent it, but she’d find a way. Gary had served a short sentence, then died of a drug overdose after his release. If Matt destroyed Katie’s life, she swore he’d pay through eternity—and she’d do everything in her power to ensure he lived a long, regret-filled existence behind bars.

Jenn jerked her mind from images of Gary getting off with little more than a slap on the wrist, and the possibility of Matt doing the same. She sat up and turned on a lamp and stared around the hotel room—a framed mountain scene on one wall, wildflowers on another—but no escape route. Finally, she wearily slid down in bed and flipped off the light and remembered a second long-ago depression that nearly suffocated her after she’d survived the first—Danny, her second husband.

Months after her dreamy wedding—complete with cake, flowers, and dancing in white—she found herself alone again and miserable after another sour marriage. But one memory trumped the rest: an especially bright summer day in Alabama. Shawn answered his cell phone, pulled it from his ear and announced, “Matt’s been transferred to the Dallas office and will stop by for a visit on his way to Texas.” A moment later the doorbell rang. Shawn had chuckled, “That’s him.”

Jenn’s hand had flown to her bulging tummy. She had no time to prepare for the visit—physically or emotionally—and no way to avoid Matt. Like a shadow, she had followed Shawn to the front door.

Matthew W. Jensen stood on the doorstep grinning from ear to ear. He had grasped Shawn in a bear hug, then released him and grabbed her so hard she thought her ribs would crack. He’d spun her around and set her down, not missing her tummy. “You look great, kid!”

It was weird sitting across the living room from Matt, his wife Rebecca, and their intriguing friend, Nicholas Washington. After pleasantries, Matt had focused on Jenn. “Has the annulment been finalized?”

She had cringed. “A few weeks back. Thanks for your help.”

He’d smiled. “No problem. Sorry it didn’t work out.”

“Some things are like that,” she had mumbled. Rubbing her tummy she’d added, “But this will work. It’s the only good thing to come out of the mess.” The only thing that pushed away encroaching despair after losing twice in the marriage game was looking forward to holding a warm, cuddly baby boy and being the type of mother she’d always craved as a kid.

“We wish you the best,” Rebecca had softly said.

Jenn had thanked her, not knowing Matt and Rebecca were trying to start a family, but failing. Later, she understood the kindness in Rebecca’s words. It was probably the only thing she remembered about Matt’s first wife—that and her shy demeanor, mousy hair and pudgy hips.

Sitting in Shawn’s little living room that hot afternoon, Jenn had laughed at Matt’s jokes, asked about his new career and was caught up in conversation when talk turned to childhood days and their escapades. That day Matt had been the same as always. He had pulled a prank on Shawn that got them laughing. But he was also more serious. She assumed the unknown gap of time between them had tempered him.

Jenn smiled for the first time after shutting the French doors on Matt because now she remembered meeting Nick—an honestly good man. He wasn’t drop-dead handsome, but she’d definitely found him interesting enough. He was quick to smile, joke, laugh and join in the conversation, even about memories he didn’t share. He had straight dark hair, chocolaty eyes and a Floridian tan. Muscles rippled beneath his chest-hugging t-shirt. He seemed friendly, straight-forward and down to earth. A quick fantasy later she had snapped back to reality. He wouldn’t possibly be interested in someone like her—a marriage loser currently playing the mommy-to-be game.

In the darkness, Jenn’s mind spun in memory circles as she sorted, mulled and discarded some. Finally an important one surfaced clearly and she remembered her sister-in-law tapping on her bedroom door. Cynthia had pushed it open. “Jenn, do you know a Nick?” She had placed a phone into her hand, not waiting for an answer.

Childless again—with no one to blame this time but her own body—Jenn fingered the cold plastic and shook her head, wishing the world would leave her alone with her misery.

Cynthia thrust the phone against Jenn’s tear-stained cheek. “Talk.” She left, shutting the door behind her. Uncurling from a fetal position, she’d answered the phone.

Nicholas Washington entertained her—no, more like enthralled her—for over seventy-five minutes and promised to call again. After hanging up she’d joined Shawn and Cynthia for supper—a first after many days. “He doesn’t drink, has a good job and thinks I should finish college and get a job I like,” she reported.

“Wow. An impressive resume,” Cynthia had said with a smile.

Jenn disclosed more facts about Nick the following evening. Like Matt, he’d been in police work until recruited by Matt’s father-in-law to work for his insurance company. He liked sports and had once raced motorcycles. He loved kids.

Shawn had shrugged. “That sounds okay, but is he going to tell you the most important things—like how many kids he already has, how much alimony and child support he’s paying out, and if he beat his last wife or girlfriend?”

Raw wounds opened with ex-husband’s names tacked on them.

“Shawn,” Cynthia had scolded. “You don’t ask that on the second phone call.”

Shawn said, “My sister needs to know. I’ll ask Matt. If he doesn’t know already, he’ll find out.”

The verdict came back with Matt giving Nick two thumbs up. Shawn’s speech had been short and simple: “Grab your chance for happiness, Jenny. Going solo won’t help you climb out of the pits you’re wallowing in. Dallas isn't so far away we can’t visit. Call if you need us—sooner next time. And call Matt if you need immediate help.”

“We’re not talking marriage. He’s only called four times,” she had replied.

Four months later she had packed and moved to Dallas. After a whirlwind courtship she became Mrs. Washington—complete with a one-carat diamond, a garden wedding, a filmy white dress Nick had selected, and a Florida honeymoon.

Only a few days after she’d married Nick, Rebecca Jensen died of cancer, taking an unborn baby to the grave with her. Devastation struck closer to home when she and Nick lost their honeymoon baby several weeks later. The final whammy hit when the doctor had said Jenn would never successfully carry a baby to term.

Katie arrived on the scene nearly seven years later, making her debut a little early and screaming like a Banshee, all because Nick had cuddled her during that hopeless night and whispered, “I swear the doctor is wrong, Jenn. We’ll have kids. I’ll do everything in my power to make it happen—work overtime to pay for treatments if necessary.” He’d followed through. It didn’t matter that they drove old cars, lived in a worn-out home in a less-desirable part of town and resisted extravagance, all to afford Katie and perhaps a little brother or sister someday.

Her little miracle slept soundly in her arms now. She remembered once telling Matt that he'd kept his promise to protect her by bringing Nick into her life during a dark period. He’d said, “Protecting you has been my number one job since the day you were born. I’ll do it until the day I die.” At that time it felt like he’d stepped back into familiar shoes as he proved once more he was as reliable as summer sunshine.

Then he’d married Monica—the queen of self-centeredness. That woman! She’d overridden his intelligence and transformed him into some twisted James Bond look-alike, except his car didn't eject anyone.

With thoughts tumbling, Jenn begged herself to shut down her mind and sleep, but it seemed impossible. Her opinion of Matt sank and the night grew darker. He seemed to have a more over-active imagination than she did—but his had taken over his sanity and dominated his actions.

Poor guy.

No. Poor Katie and me.

End Chapter 19

If  you've ever thought of writing, but have put it off for some reason, take a few minutes today or tomorrow to write something. Anything. Even if it's just a comment below. And sure, I'd love to critique your manuscript. If you're worried what I'll say, you ought to be. I'm honest. Just ask Rob...