#3 What I Believe - Environment

What I Believe - Environment

If you cross one of the entrances leading into our condo development you’ll find a little paved path running alongside a tiny stream. Upstream the water flows from a culvert, but the path continues on. To see where the path ended we followed it one day. To our delight we discovered a pond complete with ducks, giant carp, sunfish, muskrats and toads. It’s nestled in swamp grass and cattails where redwing blackbirds and swallows flit and pheasants call. It’s a pleasant slice of heaven tucked behind four complexes of apartments, townhomes and condos. We’ve fallen in love with this private, hidden oasis. 

I believe environments matter.

I was more than a little concerned when we moved into our condo, but now I feel completely comfortable. I had envisioned endless seas of asphalt, brick, stucco and cement. How would we connect to nature when it was manicured by a crew that arrived in a truck?

At this point my post jumps past our beautiful Mother Earth and zeroes in on the personal environment of home and the effect it has on the landscape inside the heart and soul. If you read my last post, remember, it focused on thoughts. This post is an extension of how the environment intertwines with our thoughts and shapes them. I can’t separate environments and thoughts because we pour out our actions because of our thoughts, and our thoughts become visible in the environments we create.

Years ago while consulting an interior decorating book to help me with a home environment problem I stumbled upon this quote from Sir Winston Churchill that has stuck with me for more than 12 years: 

“We shape our dwellings,

and afterwards our dwellings 

shape us.” 

I hopped on the Internet and found Blenheim Palace—Churchill’s childhood home. Wow! Just the name speaks volumes! Viewing photos, by comparison, I lived in a humble hovel. I survived the stark differences and considered how I had shaped my home to that point, and the ways it was shaping me. At the moment I hated my house—every aspect of it, except…. I paused and listed the exceptions, thanks to Churchill, and that improved my outlook. Here are just three of the pluses:

*The master bedroom had a window overlooking a garden filled with trees, flowers and shrubs. It was a refreshing retreat.

*I loved the sewing room designed and built under my direction. It met all my work needs and emotional desires. 

*My husband and sons had finished off the basement paying attention to detail. We loved hosting our teens, their friends and our families there. 

More areas were on the “love it” list, but there were also 2 disliked areas, and one of them I loathed. That part had festered and oozed discontent over everything. That was sad. Hoping to change that, and picturing Churchill encouraging me, I went to work. After 18 months I announced failure. Everything we’d done helped in some way, but couldn’t solve the problem. We moved because of a kitchen? Yes. The galley kitchen was situated where we couldn’t get to most of the other areas without traipsing through the narrow bottleneck it created. 

Our environment does shape us—effecting our moods, feelings, attitudes and beliefs. As a kid I was grounded more times than I can count from not cleaning my bedroom. I was a living tornado and dedicated packrat. Sometimes I say my Grands are afflicted with Dump & Dash Syndrome. They grab a toy bin and turn it upside down, then run off to find another one to empty. Ahhh! They must have inherited the trait from my younger self, because as a kid, my space was a sea of stuff constantly piled two or three feet deep. Once, when told to clean my bedroom “or else,” I stuffed everything in the closet and earned a spanking. 

One day, around the age 13, something clicked in my brain. I entered my bedroom and saw the disaster for what it was—individual stuff in complete jumbled chaos. I cleaned up the room—putting clothing on hangers, and stuff in drawers sorted by type. I disengaged emotionally from years of collected schoolwork and tossed it out. I no longer needed kindergarten papers. I chucked out broken and childish toys, except the ones I gifted to my little sisters. I made my bed and decorated it with pillows and soft toys. I looked around in relief and loved the transformation. I’d “cleaned” my bedroom many times (stash & dash), but this time was different. It was done correctly, the right way and for the right reasons.

My life changed that day because my vision changed. I saw things—every single, individual thing—for the first time, and I became the master of my belongings and space. As an offshoot I began seeing beauty and experimented with creating it. I created order. Within days I discovered form, balance and color. These opened new opportunities in my life. They expanded my thoughts, aided my energy and opened my mind. My standards for living changed. I became free to invite friends over. We had a place to hang out and I wasn’t embarrassed about my space. Many tug-of-wars in my life with my parents ceased: to take a bath, do my laundry (I became responsible for it when I turned 12), to complete homework on time, do my household chores, be on time, stop complaining about helping, etc. All the needless fuss I’d been making over everything for years ended. Just like that. Poof! I was a different person, and it was an incredibly wonderful miracle!

We do shape our environment, and in return, we can expect it to shape us, and it will, whether we intend it to or not. Now, when my environment starts shaping me in ways I don’t appreciate, I set about adjusting it as best I can. Let me say that at times it’s not an easy thing to realize the environment—how I’ve been spending my time, energy and thought in relationship to my things, and how I’m treating my belongings and space—has  thrown me out of kilter from how I’ve assumed I’m living. That’s taking responsibility, and as a human, I’m as good as others at blaming, excusing, rationalizing and procrastinating. My first clues come when I realize I’ve been feeling grumpy, unsettled and unsatisfied—and I can’t find something like my keys or measuring cups, and that makes me more grumpy, unsettled and unsatisfied.

There you have it—the ol’ environmental atmosphere thing starts grabbing at me and shoving me into its mire. I look around and wham—something is in disarray externally that I’ve successfully ignored, and now I realize I’m battling disarray internally. When things are jumbled a little internally, I have a pretty good idea there is too much jumble going on around me externally. Fortunately, being a co-homeowner, and being emotionally, financially and logically invested in my atmosphere, I can affect it. Here is my outline for shaping up my environment:

First: I start with my attitude. It’s a mind thing. I can’t say that long enough or loud enough. Where the mind goes, the mouth and hands will follow. And if the mind isn’t going toward order, then it’s heading into disorder. Seldom does anything coast along at a zero directional rate. 

Second: I invest mentally. I focus on what is right, good and wonderful. Saying, “I love____” about aspects of my home goes a long way because love heals many and all kinds of ills! I invest in looking for ways to easily improve. I’m not into complicated fixes.

Third: I put muscle into it. I load the dishwasher or washing machine, mop, pick up, etc. I stop making excuses about putting the basics off because something else "super important" needs my time and energy more. A clean house never screams for attention and frees you up to play or work on something else unhindered physically and mentally. 

Forth: I plan, plan, and plan some more because sometimes cleaning isn’t the problem. Maybe it’s repairing or replacing, and that requires more out of me. Often I sketch what I want which kicks creativity and finding solutions up a notch and closer to the final outcome.

Fifth: When money is involved, I start saving. I was called a tightwad once and was highly offended—until I dropped the pseudonyms I’d cushioned around myself such as thrifty and frugal. I am a tightwad, and that’s why I have some of the things I have, and have done some of the things I’ve done. I’ve scrimped, saved, planned and been a complete tightwad over non-essentials. Anyway, sometimes when it comes to money I only needed a gallon of paint and new bathroom towels, not an entire bathroom redo. However, once I needed a new patio door that opened onto a giant deck. (Yes, it was a need.) It’s ridiculous to make those kinds of changes without plans, sketches, a blueprint, funds made available through tight-wadding, and getting myself over to the city offices to apply for a building permit.

Sixth: This is a kicker—I outline the desired emotional end result, not just the physical one. It’s ridiculous to spend time and sweat-labor over an environmental change if you have no clue what you want in the end. I select feelings like peace, convenience, ease and beauty. When I shoot for an internally pleasant environment and a physically pleasing environment, it’s easier to transform my external surroundings and maintain the change. 

Here are some relatively “Quick & Easy” environmental changes I’ve undertaken… and yes, I’m laughing because I’m fully aware that what might be easy for me might be a huge obstacle for someone else, but nothing I’ve done started out easy. I had to learn to paint and wallpaper, sand and stain, rip out and rebuild, etc. 

Repair & fix: When a few boards in the back of our leather sofa broke we opened up the bottom and glued, screwed and clamped new wood inside. This was easier on our savings account and mental budget than replacing it. Some things need to meet the dumpster, so have the courage to introduce them to it, but other things just need TLC and duct tape (fixing). 

Surface and deep clean: You don’t need to go fanatical hypo-germaphobic, but it’s amazing what you see when you kiss goodbye to messes, disorder, and the out-grown and no longer needed items in your home. Say hello to your mop and rag and what lies underneath the clutter and grime. Watch hoarding shows on TV if you need cleaning motivation!

Aroma therapy: While house hunting I walked through a couple ultra-stinky homes. Despite knowing they had potential, I couldn’t overlook their disgusting smells. What if I worked my tail off and couldn’t get the odors out of the carpet and wood floors? I couldn’t risk that financial disaster. I’ve been known to bake bread just for aroma therapy. So, haul the trash out, toss sour dishrags in the wash and scrub the floors behind the toilets.

Other: There is so much more than the above. Consider ambient lighting—lamps, curtains, candles. Look at your furnishing—sofa, chairs, bed, pictures and how your rooms are arranged. Move stuff around if needed. Pay attention to colors and patterns and how they affect you. Dare to remove the wall hanging you hate and leave the wall bare until you find something you love. Observe the traffic flow in your home—switch it up if it’s not accommodating your lifestyle. Invite in fresh air—open windows and transform outdoor space into a relaxing place so you can breath fresh air. Include your own personality and that of other family members.—don’t just decorate, but welcome a taste of what all of you love. Organize—get rid of stuff you never use (but might someday), and put what you use most often in the easiest places to reach. That sounds like a no brainer, but me—a sworn organizer—still messes that up sometimes. Consider touch—pillows, flooring, sticky messes. I couldn’t tear out tile in one of my houses, so I bought lots of area rugs. My daughter says our condo carpet is “crunchy,” but right now I can’t afford to change the stiff synthetic fibers meant for tough wear in a rental unit—which our condo used to be. Browse the Internet and books for ways to improve your space. Copy those ideas and organize, clean or do what you can to meet your particular needs. Before we put our house on the market I read at least 10 articles about staging my home. Many of them taught me how to live in a “staged” home where beauty and livability are married. Yes, that and many other lifestyle changes can be done!

There are other environmental factors that impact us, such as unity in the family, noise and sound “pollution,” the general condition of belongings, clutter control, and time management that keeps important things from being left undone. There are also things beyond our control—like a bird nesting under one of my daughter-in-law’s car, and being tender-hearted, she waited until all the eggs hatched before she drove it. This temporarily impacted many of her daily activities, but highlighted love, patience and respect for life to her kids.

For better or worse, “We shape our dwellings, and afterwards our dwellings shape us.” 

How we live in our surroundings influences all areas of our lives. It has a ripple effect. I had a job once where I worked in a cubicle. Each day when I arrived I chose my seat, knowing that shortly before someone else may have sat there. This meant we couldn’t leave anything permanent behind when we left work each day. I quickly decided to bring thumbtacks and hang up beautiful calendar pictures and inspirational quotes before I started my shift. My cubicle “windows” looked out over lighthouses, seascapes and forests, and the scenes changed with the season. I also watched my family laugh in photos, and I read snippets about success and happiness. I thrived at that job, and you can guess why! I shaped my environment, fully expecting it to shape me, and I chose in advance the conditions I wanted internally and externally. 

Our environments influence our interactions with others, and their interactions with us. It impacts how we fill our varied responsibilities. We can influence it in ways that will assist us in reaching our capabilities better. Our relationship with our belongings—those lifeless things around us—becomes beneficial when they are purposeful. Okay, pause and think about that if you haven’t caught onto that concept yet.

I knew all this before I found Churchill’s quote, but wow! Our environments—the ones we create—are powerful! 

After a little upsets over my new home under construction I took a little “hike.” I listened to bird song and a babbling stream. I gazed at snow-capped mountains and cloud-studded skies. My heart revived in God’s environment. I returned home with a redefined perspective. A house is just a house, after all, and the little glitches will make no difference in the long run. Definitely they won’t undermine my internal peace because that is solely within my control. Once I move in I’ll arrange and rearrange the décor, continually adjusting things a little (or a lot) to invite harmony into our surroundings, knowing that feeling will impact all aspects of our lives, and it’s the one I prefer. My internal and external environments will circle around and around, keeping each other in balance.

*NOTE: I can’t believe I never mentioned chocolate and the role it plays in perfecting an environment. Oh well. Consider it a necessary part of my mine—always hidden, yet easy to tap into. 

**2^nd Note: My goodness this was long! Consider yourself super dedicated if you made it to the end. Also, please understand that I’m fully aware that I didn’t touch on many things that I believe about creating a personal environment that I think are important. I had to stop somewhere!

Enjoy critiquing and tweaking your environment, but please don’t attempt an environmental overhaul in one afternoon, or one week—that’s not healthy planning! Instead, enjoy the process, because joy is one of the outcomes you’re seeking.