#2 What I Believe—Building Thoughts

#2 What I Believe—Building Thoughts
 

I have a pretty concrete idea of where my emotions could take me in the whirlwinds and storms currently assaulting me. I know I could easily be blown off course if I don’t choose my outcome carefully, sometimes moment by moment.

Oh, I need a serious pep talk, and there isn’t anyone around to give a satisfactory one, so here comes a personal one created by Yours Truly. You can eavesdrop if you want.

“Do not throw up! It’s not an option. Choose another reaction. No, you can’t yell, either, so stop considering it. Breath deep. Relax. This is not the end of the world.”

There it is. I’ve repeated this, and many variations, thousands of times in the past few months. So far I’ve listened to myself and life is good. As far as the future goes, I’ll keep self pep-talking and listening. I know my destination, and I know how I want to journey. 

We’ve sold our house and moved everything we own into a tiny condo or one of two hulking storage units. If I want something specific that’s not in the condo, I’m out of luck. I can’t climb over a ten-foot wall of stuff to retrieve anything. (I’ve tried—it’s impossible.) But there is light at the end of the storage unit tunnel: After a lot of searching for a “perfect” home, we’ve decided to build one. (Yes, I’m laughing at the word perfect.) 

To say our lives are sometimes in an uproar now is an understatement. To say we can chart our course through all of this is completely true, but only if I pep-talk myself more than usual. I expect to do just that, and I expect to keep it up until I’m handed the key to my new home.

Changing directions sounds fun at times—and so does building. Having built a home from scratch before, I know it has fun parts, but I also know there are nightmare elements. Despite the subs, mistakes and delays, I’m in control of whether the nightmare image overwhelms the dream-come-true image, or visa-versa. I don’t swear, but there are times, and building is one of those prime times, when I’m sorely tempted to start. Sorry—no details. I don’t want to read about any of it ten years later. I’m dealing with each incident as it comes along. I’m settling them and moving past them. Rehashing isn’t going to trip up my future. Besides, in five or six weeks I’ll be handed the golden key (probably brass) to my new haven of happiness (*cue angels singing). I’ll shut the door on every sub and gaze at the interior of my home and do a happy dance over everything perfect, and I’ll vow to be happy with every corner that doesn’t line up—meaning every messed up detail. I promise I will, so I will. I know I can because I’ve done it in the past with two spec homes, one custom home, two barely lived in homes, and one richly used condo.

Details of building a home is something you can’t complain about to most family or friends because they know you chose to build. They give you a look of, “Huh? You asked for this, remember? You wanted it and jumped into it with both feet, so why the fuss?” Also, many don’t understand the gut-aching ordeal of having most of the details of your life churning away together in one mass mixer, and you’re unsure if the mixer will ever stop. On the line are your finances, address, dreams, emotions, expenses, unexpected up-charges and fees—even the paint color is in there spinning away as you wonder if you’ve chosen the right hue! Yikes, this whole batch of mixing everything up better produce some mighty appealing and tasty cookies, or I might actually lose my cookies!

Anyway…

Building a home is grabbing a dream, then watching it unfold as everyone does their part—some well, some not as well, and some worse than you can imagine. One evening we were walking through our home when the appraiser stopped by. No big deal, right? My stomach churned as I considered whether what I’m paying is more than the house will appraise for. Can you imagine that? I had to tell myself to not throw up—again. Not now, at least. Maybe if the appraisal comes in low, but not now.

I believe thoughts chart directions in our lives. They are the power behind our actions. They spur us on, halt us, change our direction, calm us down, rile us up, give us hope, rob us of hope, allow our successes to be real and enjoyed, or deprive us of our achievements. Thoughts rule our lives like kings or queens with scepters that we handed to them when we grant them power.

In my posts I won’t be sharing What I Believe in any particular order, saying this belief is number one above all of my other beliefs, but if I were to choose the top five, how I feel about the power of thoughts would be in that select group at the pinnacle or beliefs. 

Thoughts are extremely powerful.

Thoughts are impressions and words in the mind and heart, and they carry an extremely potent amount of power because they’re packed with emotions, attitudes and beliefs. They combine what we've taken into us from our past, and how we perceive our future.

Because the mind and heart contain a vast amount of our identity, what is in them defines who we are. Our skin only holds our mind and heart in place. Sure, we use our skin (by this I mean aspects of our body—our outer appearance or looks, condition, health, body language, dress, mannerisms, speech, etc.) as a huge part of our identity, but that outer part is a reflection of, and chiefly influenced by, our inner soul—our heart and mind, or in other words, our thoughts, feelings, emotions and beliefs—that constant flow of thoughts and where they come from and how they were and are continually formed and altered. 

We are in control of who we are inside. Whether we enjoy things or complain, we accept or reject, we rise or fall emotionally, mentally and spiritually, we are in control. Sure, we're subject to a huge amount of outer conditions that we can't avoid or bring about at will, but we choose how we deal with what we experience: the problems and mishaps we face, and whether we do so logically and sanely, or if we lose it and throw up, yell, threaten, etc. We choose how we react to positive events, as well.

That is the kind of pep-talk I give myself daily over something—I choose. All of my pep-talks don’t center on a house made of sticks, but they cover all the events of my life—the good ones and the mishaps and problems, the successes, joys, delays, detours—everything.

Yes, everything gets talked to and about in the mind. I do it, and you do it.

I’m a perfect thought builder. Everyone is. Sometimes positively, and sometimes not in the best ways. Too often I’m a lazy thought builder and don’t put in the effort to guide my course the way I really want, even though I know I can. 

All of us are building something in our thoughts. Something significant. We’re building who we are inside and out—we’re building the house of who we are. 

Thoughts matter. What and how we build ourselves matters.

Happy thought building!

*NOTE: Photos are of my house under construction at the time of this post. Isn’t that fitting? None of us are a finished “house” yet. That’s hopeful. It means we can change the whole floor plan if we want. With some well-placed thoughts we can knock a wall down. Another thought prompts us to grab a ladder and climb up to raise the roof and add a new floor. Additional thinking will enlarge or shrink a space as we desire. A new thought pattern can inspire us to put in a window and invite in a refreshing view. You get the idea! Oh, how fun and rewarding thinking can be! Grab your wrecking ball thoughts and eliminate an eyesore, or grab a thought paintbrush to spruce things up! You design, I design, and we both are constantly building! No matter what we do, the end product will be exactly what we think about.

Happy building!