#8 Homeward Bound -- Decision Making (Organization 101)

 #8 Homeward Bound -- Decision Making (Organization 101)

 Organized pantry

Welcome to Organization 101:

Decision Making

 

The biggest excuse for not organizing our homes is usually different than we claim. It’s not limits on our time, skills, budget, energy, space, or other resources. It’s decision making.

Decision Making

 

Choosing how to begin, how to proceed, and especially what to keep, what to discard, what to gift or give away, what to donate, and what to repurpose can hamper us. 

First decision:

 

When I start an organization project the first decision I make is to ask myself, “Will I be honest?” rather than, “Is it possible to  tame this wild area with my limited resources?” I know I can tame anything I put my mind to, but honestly, it's more important to ask myself if I will be honest with myself, and will I be honest about my belongings?  

I’ve never had enough resources. Knowing this, I start a project with just one question—will I be honest? And that question leads to other questions: 

1.) Am I willing to take on the responsibility of organizing this space?

2.) Am I willing to incorporate good organizational skills?

3.) Will I put in more than minimal effort?

4.) After I organize, will I hold myself accountable for the space and items?

Once I choose to be 100% honest—decision made—I’m ready to begin because all of the other choices I’ll make hinge on how I answer the first one. 

Honesty paves the way for success

I look at it this way: Honesty, or integrity, involves realizing there is a problem area, then owning up to the responsibility for at least a portion of the space, it's care, and the items in it. 

Honesty doesn’t mean I have to do the work alone, but allows me to gather helpers if needed, whether it's a professional or family members. Sometimes I gather ideas to help. Seeing what others do and how they solve issues similar to mine is a great resource.

Honesty gives power to see a task through to completion and continue caring for the space and items afterward. 

Once the first decision is made—the decision to be honest—and the decision to be honest has led to the next four questions involving responsibility, effort, and accountability, there is a second decision to make. 

Second decision:

The second decision is to create a plan to conquer the chaos. It's like charting out how you'll proceed from Point A to Point B without suffering any casualties along the way. You don't want to kill off enthusiasm or any other positive vibes, or lose hope, or feel you're incapable of reaching Point B. 

Have you noticed there’s no wishing away chaos? I haven’t discovered a magic wand yet, although I really want to! Make a plan that transforms your wishing into reality.

Most plans anticipate unforeseen hazards, so include ideas to help you handle possible obstacles you might encounter. For me that might mean having lots of Dr. Pepper on hand, working while little ones nap, stocking up on chocolate in advance, or have a music playlist ready.

Charting how you'll gain victory is also like mapping out a vacation. You know the destination, what to pack, sights you'll see, and how much money you'll need—all in advance. It's helps you mentally work through the tough issues and considering options before beginning. Visualizing steps needed for success boosts confidence. 

Third decision:

The third decision is to bring four essential cohorts on board. When these four assistants join your group it guarantees success. Allow me introduce to you:

Miss Want N. Need 

She is nosy and asks all kinds of questions in a snooty, or picky, or secretive, or demanding voice, asking, “Honestly Honey, do you really want or need that?” You’ll throw your hands up in the air many times and say, “No!” or “Duh, yes!”

Mrs. Gift O. Give 

This cohort jumps in the moment you say “Yes!” and suggests you really don’t want or need it, but someone else probably does. She mixes humanity and compassion into the equation. She reminds you the last time the item was pulled out was over 13 years ago, and way back then it didn’t function well and you weren’t overjoyed with the results. “Why not donate it now?” she asks. “It will show both kindness to yourself and someone else.” (BTW, she's a delight to work with!)

 

Mr. Toss 

While you're hesitating over Mrs. Give’s suggestion, Mr. Toss jumps forward. “Just get rid of it,” he demands. “See that dent? Have you noticed how faded it is? It’s out of style, for heaven’s sake! And the edge is chipped. It’s too decrepit for anyone to want.” He’s a pro at pointing out things you’ve become blind to. He adds rationale and justification into the mix, and often he’s completely right.

Ms. R. R. Repurpose

Your fourth friend and fellow warrior has waited patiently for her turn to pipe up. She’s wily and clever, and although she has an opinion, her ideas are not always the best. Listen to her anyway—at least somewhat. She floods your mind with ideas when she asks about things Mr. Toss thinks he’s taken under his control. As Mr. Toss' items fall into his waste basket she whispers, “Can it be reused, recycled or repurposed?” She fills your mind with heroic concepts of saving the world, creating, and reshaping the future. She plants in your head visions of paint, a good scrubbing, or remaking. She’s a pro at sneaking in ideas of patching and repairing. Be honest with yourself when her voice seems to be winning. Remember, she is convincing and clever, but frequently wrong. In fact, she’s often the reason you’re facing this battle in the first place! If her presence becomes too annoying or overbearing, kick her out for a while until she promises to be more honest if you allow her back in. Remember, you’re in charge, not her.

When the battle begins—when you’re in the trenches—actually, when you’re facing the drawer, or closet, or garage, or bedroom, or other space, grab your cohorts, wave your battle plan in front of their discerning noses to remind them of their part, and begin. 

Beginning!

 

First, sort—

Pick up every single item one at a time. (Unless it’s a group item like a box of Legos, or bin filled with poker chips, or a bag of money. Money? We wish, right? Treat the whole box, bin or bag as one item if possible.) With the item in hand, turn and face your friends as you display it for their scrutiny, and say, “Have at it!” Turn them loose on all decision making. Let them take charge. Give them full control. Except—be careful with Ms. Repurpose, unless you have well-developed DIY skills or massive amounts of creativity, time and commitment. Otherwise, she can spiral out of control. She’ll suggest more boxes, higher stacks, additional shelving, a storage unit, hidden places under the bed or behind the china cupboard, and a better labeling system. That girl can get crazy at times! Keep your eye on her and reign her in, or put her in time out if necessary. She can undermine a well-rehearsed plan in seconds!

Second, separate—

One technique I use, and most organizers use, is to assign zones, corners, a a type of holding pen before you even start what some call sorting or purging. It’s kind of like playing chess. If you win a piece you take it off the board and put in a specific area out of play. Assign each of your friends an area to set up their own style of holding pen for the prisoners they clam in your War on Chaos and Clutter. The holding pen may be a box or bag, the end of your bed or another area in the immediate vicinity. Physical containment is best for all items, except those won by Miss Want N. Need. (You can imagine why. Mr. Toss risks losing all of his winnings unless he can cart them out in a garbage bag.)

Once the main battle is over and all items have been critiqued and their final destination is proclaimed, it’s time to clean up the area and breathe new life into it.

Organize

First: Clean up. Haul the trash to the dumpster, say your final farewells with flourish, toss overboard, and close the lid. That part is easy, really.

Second: Place the give or donate boxes and bags in the trunk of your car so they’re ready to deliver. Predetermine when that drop off will be made and stick with the date and time you've chosen. 

Once the garbage can lid is down and the car trunk is closed, return to the area you're cleaning. Now you only face two piles, and both are keepers. Some are to keep as-is, and some are for repurposing.

Third. Inspect the keeper piles.

 

As is keepers: There usually are two of these piles. The first pile consists of all the items you'll replace in the area you've just purged. Put them away first because you want the space and items usable again as quickly as possible.(More on this in an upcoming post.) The second keeper pile contains items that wandered away from their home and need help getting back. You'll recognize them—a bowl and spoon in the bathroom, dirty socks under the bed, a hammer on top of the bookcase (for nine months?!?). Take care of these items next. 

Repurpose keepers: Invite your 4 favorite companions to join you again and turn them loose to sort and purge a second time all the items Ms. R. R. Repurpose originally claimed. Let them have another go at the scratch and dent, broken and stained, bent and chipped items. Grant them brutal honesty and ask them to be very decisive. 

Remember, you’re claiming territory in your heart and soul over clutter, not just within your house. You want victory over chaos and clutter. You want convenience, peace and joy. Remember who you are and your preferences. If a chair has a broken leg, are you really going to repair it? Do you actually have the tools, time, experience, and other resources? Same goes with the sweater you haven't worn in seven years. You've got the idea.

 Finally...

In all of your decision making, be honest without over-thinking. Keep the questions you ask yourself simple, because the answers are too. Make decisions quickly because most of them are less complicated than they seem. 

All of these questions and steps require heart-felt honesty from the mind and soul. 

No battle is won or lost without a lot of decisions being made before the fight begins, No house is built before a plan is drawn up, permits are obtained, the foundation is prepared and the materials and crew are on site. The same goes with organizing—mental effort and decision making is involved more than we often realize, and there are specific steps that are taken for success, just as you take certain steps to bake a cake, throw a surprise party, or borrow money to buy a new car. 

If organizing is challenging to you, start with a small project using the essential questions I’ve shared that only you can correctly answer. Future posts will add more skills you can hone that promise great results . 

Until then, Happy organizing!

During sorting and purging to organize a bathroom drawer. 

This is the ugly and messy part of a project.

After a massive effort to sort, purge, combine and organize

an office and family room area, 

this is an example of what a finished project looks like. 

**Quick review of  Organization 101: Decision Making

• Choose honesty
• Create a plan
• Invite 4 friends to help make decisions 
• Follow through and triumph! 

#7 Homeward Bound - Clean & Organized, Part III (Mindset Part II)

#7 Homeward Bound - Clean & Organized, Part III (Mindset Part II)

“I really should be cleaning my house,” I mumbled as I wrote this post. "Or I could enlist help…"

What we say influences our mindset. What we think dictates how we feel.  I should doesn’t mean I will, right? “I am…” and “I want to…” are very different. But every word, and how we apply it, affects our actions. So that's exactly what I did—I put my thoughts and words into action (along with a bribe).

 In A Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens began with, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” drawing attention to opposites. While organizing a closet I dropped an armload of hangers. They ricocheted off my hip and exploded in every direction like fireworks. Ugh! Don’t we all love accidentally creating chaos while trying to do the exact opposite? I applied humor and laughed, despite the setback. Whether we appreciate it or not, we live in a world of opposites, which means we're surrounded by opposing choices—and we love that, right?

Chocolate or vanilla

Light or dark

Work or play

Green or blue

Clean or messy 

Humor or anger

Love or hate

LOVE

Love is a mighty strong word—but so is hate. They are polar opposites, but both motivate. Both set things in motion. Both put us on a specific path. Both affect our lives. With these extreme opposites—LOVE & HATE—or “A Tale of Two Words”, we live our daily lives according to which words we choose, and the meanings we apply to them.

Words matter

Every single one of them

The Pacific Ocean laps on Hawaiian shores, and words lap around us the same way. Like the ocean, words also have hidden currents that can carry us to new destinations depending on how we set our sails. Mighty ocean waters never go away, and neither do words. Think about it: They storm into our minds, or float in on a gentle stream, or invade like an army, or arrive quietly like a sunset. Sometimes they flit past like a distracted butterfly.

Words bombard us in media, in person, in print, and in our thoughts. We process every single word we think, hear and see. We sort, sift, retain or discard each word in our heart, mind and soul, often subconsciously. Some we latch onto as if our lives depend on them, and some we banish. Some inject mental toxins, and others rescue us from disease. 

Let’s dissect the term disease: dis means to be away from, apart from, or separated from. Ease means to be tranquil, free from labor or pain, and have enjoyment. Disease means to be away from, or separated from the good stuff. Yes, words can and do reduce or increase the good stuff!

Some of us become selective word hoarders. We stash away the ones we think we'll want or need later. But we don't all collect the same words. We personally and individually choose which ones we want, along with each word's associated chains of thoughts, feelings, emotions and beliefs. 

What kinds of words are stacked on your mental shelves?

Which words are stored in your emotional pantry for serving up later?

What words fill your mental bank account? 

Which words are kept in the front of your mind or on the tip of your tongue to use most often? 

 

Have you ever opened a closet and dodged items tumbling out? Stored words tumble out too. Some hug us like best friends bestowing comfort, courage or healing. Some lunge for our throats like vampires eager to suck every drop of joy, courage and success from us. Just like cleaning out a linen closet or purging a pantry, we can clean out our word closet, and select which ones are healthy and prevent or lessen disease.

Remember my exploding hangers? When I turned to view the catastrophe I discovered two had landed oddly, almost as if placed there on purpose. At first I noticed a star—like the North Star that leads—and then I saw the heart. Suddenly my hurry-up attitude melted into love, and everything changed. I yanked my phone out to capture a photo. 

 Hearts = Love

 

Love is a powerful word, and it is a star—it is the perfect word to lead each one of us. 

When I finished the closet I went heart-hunting throughout my home. I knew I had a knot in my wood floor in the shape of a heart, so I found it first. More than once that little heart has boosted my life toward love—love of home, love for my belongings (that seem to need constant care), love for myself , and love for those who live with me and around me.

A photo safari had begun.

Next, I remembered a tiny Dacron fiberfill heart tacked on my office cork board. It had been left behind in the dryer like a thank you note after washing a little Grand’s soft toy. 

The subtle heart pattern in my curtains had convinced me to choose this fabric.  

I found more hearts than I imagined—a pillow, a necklace pendant, etched on a vase, etc. Love was scattered throughout my entire home, and I don't purposely decorate with hearts.

The real question of this post is: 

How can, and how will our mindset influence whether we clean and organize?

Answer: It begins with the words we think and use. If we truly want to create a cleaner and more organized atmosphere around us we have to begin with our words. We must clean up the language in our thoughts and speech before we can successfully maintain a clean and organized home.

First: Toss out degrading words, wish words, and fearful words. Think of it as taking out smelly trash filled with broken and ugly things. Just do it!

Second: Select powerful, positive, affirming and directing words.

Two words should top your list: LOVE and HATE. Both of these are effective, but only if we use them in positive ways. 

For example, because I hate searching for my car keys I keep them in a specific place. Because I love to grab and go, I always put them away.

The same concept works for everything we want to organize or clean. (In fact, it works in every aspect of our lives.)

Third: Double up and triple up on all positive words, thoughts and feelings, and utilize the negative side less and less.   

Fourth: Apply love words to ourselves. I love being happy and positive, but I could be a horrendous Queen of the Grumps if I chose. When I do things I don’t love or like—and there are plenty of those activities—I apply love to myself during the process. 

Don’t leave love out of any equation. 

Set love as your standard so the task and the process used to accomplish it are not allowed to interfere with self-love, joy, happiness or anything else positive.

Example: Cleaning someone else’s bathroom on my hands and knees. (We have rental property so this isn’t make-believe.) I’ve had to dig in, not cuss myself out for not hiring a cleaning service, and love myself during the process. I’ve up-talked how much I’ll love the area when it’s sanitary again, and how much I’ll love how quickly it will rent again. (Good music or a positive pod cast helps too.) No matter what, include love in as many ways as possible.

No matter the project, we don’t have to hate (or dislike) ourselves as we do it, and we don’t have to be unhappy while we’re doing it either.

 My talented sister-in-law made this cute wall hanging. (Notice that little heart?) Sometimes we think words of love are only spoken between people, but they should also be spoken by us, and to us, about ourselves. No one may ever speak love to us, especially in the ways we need, want, or appreciate. That doesn’t mean we can’t speak it to ourselves, our home, our environment, our responsibilities, our hopes, and our desires. When we speak love to ourselves it doesn't mean we're narcissistic or self-centered. It means we honor ourselves as counting, being capable and being valuable.

We should guard against allowing hatred into our lives in negative ways. We can hate a mess, but shouldn't let hatred consume us or be our sole motivator. Hatred alone can halt our ability to handle messes, love ourselves, or change unpleasant situations.

Remember that when employing hatred, we should never direct it inward, or to ourselves, even if we made the mess, didn’t prevent it, failed to stop it, or neglected to do things about it sooner. Don’t succumb to hatred or any of its cousins. The relatives are easy to recognize: They’re wearing name badges saying: Dislike, Regret, Discouragement, Despair, Depression, Self-incrimination, etc. They slink in prepared for a hostile takeover. When they arrive, and they often do, enlist Love and its more powerful family members: Joy, Peace, Like, Sunshine, Happiness, Gratitude, Improvement, etc. By mustering the forces of Love and kin we not only defend ourselves, but we fortify ourselves, and we more easily end the war and enjoy life. An added bonus: we love ourselves during the process.*

When we begin a project, but start to fizzle out, focus on the words that are currently gaining power in your thoughts and speech. Listen to them—deeply listen to them. Hear their tone and the feel the emotions they produce. If they are weakening you—creating discouragement, sapping strength, causing dis-ease in any manner—return to love, positive words, and encouraging thoughts. Honestly, I'm aware this can be a very real and intense battle, but winning it, no matter the situation, is 100% worth it.

Fifth: Build a reservoir of love. This is a repository for positive words and improved thoughts that you can draw upon. The reservoir is your mind, heart and soul. Fill it with specific words and specific feelings you have sampled and tested that you've found work for you.

One way, out of many, that I do this is to congratulate and praise myself. Sometimes I need validation and encouragement during a hard process, or sometimes I don’t need it until afterward, and sometimes I don't need it at all, but there are times when I desperately do need mental or emotional help, and there isn't anyone around to give me what I need, except myself.

Example: Have you ever noticed no one realizes or thanks you when you put on a new roll of toilet paper? Long ago it annoyed me when the person who yanked off the last tiny square failed to replace it with a fresh one. In my long ago past I used all kinds of negative words to label the offender and the offense. No more! Because no one has ever thanked me—not even once—I took on that responsibility myself. 

Often others don’t realize the effort and time we put into the ten-billion little things that make life more pleasant for all of us. What we do to prevent messes, inconveniences and emergencies also often goes unnoticed. And sometimes the big life-saving things go unthanked too.

Congratulating ourselves on developing an incredibly competent toilet paper changing skill (as well as other skills which are much more important), and not relying on others for recognition or appreciation by giving ourselves a high-five, thanking ourselves, and comparing the accomplishment to saving humanity (and sometimes it does), and developing an “I love myself and others while I do it” skill set, and other rewards like this, boost our ability to love ourselves, love others, and love doing the hard, as well as the easy things that need to happen. 

Love deepens our sense of capability, 

and lessens our irritability.

Anyone can moan about doing all the boring, menial, praiseless tasks, but it takes true talent and skill to dump negative attitudes, acting annoyed, fuming, or feeling sorry for ourselves. We can replace negative vibes with something positive and rewarding. Really, we can. And sometimes it only takes a few seconds.

Be positive. 
Be genuine. 
Be kind. 
Be loving.

If you’re struggling with mindset or the concept of positive thinking, read positive thinking/acting books. Buy, check out, borrow or download them. Read blogs about positive thinking, and remember your own past positive experiences. While you read consider specific words to place in your  reservoir that will improve your life. Start using them even if at first they sound foreign. Over time that will pass. Give a heave-ho to words that hinder you, and don't invite them back. That might seem foreign too if you've gathered an impressive collection. But we are capable of learning new languages, even within our own native tongue, even with words we've heard our whole lives but never applied in positive ways to ourselves.  

I haven’t shared all there is to know about mindset or positive thinking—that’s impossible. In reality, I’ve barely scratched the surface. As you dive into a reservoir of loving words, I wish you lots of happiness, joy and success. I want you to love your life, and love your home where you live so much of your life. 

~~Love, Leona 

*Let me clarify—we can use hatred when applying it in positive, motivating ways, such as "I hate getting up to a sink full of yesterday's dirty dishes." But don't apply it in ways that discourage—or in negative ways—such as in the process of eliminating dirty dishes before morning, or to ourselves as we clean up the dirty dishes.