#7 Homeward Bound - Clean & Organized, Part III (Mindset Part II)
“I
really should be cleaning my house,” I mumbled as I wrote this post. "Or
I could enlist help…"
What we say influences our mindset. What we think dictates how we feel. I should doesn’t mean I will, right? “I am…” and “I want to…” are very different. But every word, and how we apply it, affects our actions. So that's exactly what I did—I put my thoughts and words into action (along with a bribe).
In
A Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
began with, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” drawing
attention to opposites. While
organizing a closet I dropped an armload of hangers. They ricocheted off my hip
and exploded in every direction like fireworks. Ugh! Don’t we all love accidentally creating chaos while trying
to do the exact opposite? I applied humor and laughed, despite the setback. Whether we appreciate it or not, we live in a world of opposites, which means we're surrounded by opposing choices—and we love that, right?
Chocolate or vanilla
Light or dark
Work or play
Green or blue
Clean or messy
Humor or anger
Love or hate
LOVE
Love
is a mighty strong word—but so is hate. They are polar opposites, but both
motivate. Both set things in motion. Both put us on a specific path. Both affect
our lives. With these extreme opposites—LOVE & HATE—or “A Tale of Two
Words”, we live our daily lives according to which words we choose, and the meanings we apply to them.
Words
matter
Every single one of them
The Pacific Ocean laps on Hawaiian shores, and words lap around us the same way. Like the ocean, words also have hidden
currents that can carry us to new destinations depending on how we set our sails. Mighty
ocean waters never go away, and neither do words. Think about it: They storm into our minds, or
float in on a gentle stream, or invade like an army, or arrive quietly like a sunset.
Sometimes they flit past like a distracted butterfly.
Words bombard us in media, in person, in print, and in our thoughts. We process every single word we think, hear and see. We sort, sift, retain or discard each word in our heart, mind and soul, often subconsciously. Some we latch onto as if our lives depend on them, and some we banish. Some inject mental toxins, and others rescue us from disease.
Let’s dissect the term disease: dis means to be away from, apart from, or separated from. Ease means to be tranquil, free from labor or pain, and have enjoyment. Disease means to be away from, or separated from the good stuff. Yes, words can and do reduce or increase the good stuff!
Some of us become selective word hoarders. We stash away the ones we think we'll want or need later. But we don't all collect the same words. We personally and individually choose which ones we want, along with each word's associated chains of thoughts, feelings, emotions and beliefs.
What kinds of words are stacked on your mental shelves?
Which words are stored in your emotional pantry for serving up later?
What words fill your mental bank account?
Which words are kept in the front of your mind or on the tip of your tongue to use most often?
Have
you ever opened a closet and dodged items tumbling out? Stored words tumble
out too. Some hug us like best friends bestowing comfort, courage or healing. Some lunge for our
throats like vampires eager to suck every drop of joy, courage and success from us. Just like cleaning out a linen closet or purging a pantry, we can clean out our word closet, and select which ones are healthy and prevent or lessen disease.
Remember my exploding hangers? When I turned to view the catastrophe I discovered two had landed oddly, almost as if placed there on purpose. At first I noticed a star—like the North Star that leads—and then I saw the heart. Suddenly my hurry-up attitude melted into love, and everything changed. I yanked my phone out to capture a photo.
Hearts
= Love
Love
is a powerful word, and it is a star—it is the perfect word to lead each one of us.
When I finished the closet I went heart-hunting throughout my home. I knew I had a knot in my wood floor in the shape of a heart, so I found it first. More than once that little heart has boosted my life toward love—love of home, love for my belongings (that seem to need constant care), love for myself , and love for those who live with me and around me.
Next, I remembered a tiny Dacron fiberfill heart tacked on my office cork board. It had been left behind in the dryer like a thank you note after washing a little Grand’s soft toy.
The real question of this post is:
How
can, and how will our mindset influence whether we clean and organize?
Answer: It begins with
the words we think and use. If we truly want to create a cleaner and more organized atmosphere around us we have to begin with
our words. We must clean up the language in our thoughts and speech before we can successfully maintain a clean and organized home.
First: Toss out degrading words, wish words, and fearful words. Think of it as taking out smelly trash filled with broken and ugly things. Just do it!
Second: Select powerful, positive, affirming and directing words.
Two
words should top your list: LOVE and HATE. Both of these are effective, but only if we use them
in positive ways.
For example, because I hate
searching for my car keys I keep them in a specific place. Because I love to grab and go, I always put them away.
The same concept works for everything we want to organize or clean. (In fact, it works in every aspect of our lives.)
Third: Double up and triple up on all positive words, thoughts and feelings, and utilize the negative side less and less.
Fourth: Apply love words to ourselves. I love being happy and positive, but I could be a horrendous Queen of the Grumps if I chose. When I do things I don’t love or like—and there are plenty of those activities—I apply love to myself during the process.
Don’t leave love out of any equation.
Set love as your standard so the task and the process used to accomplish it are not allowed to interfere with self-love, joy, happiness or anything else positive.
Example: Cleaning someone else’s bathroom on my hands and knees. (We have rental property so this isn’t make-believe.) I’ve had to dig in, not cuss myself out for not hiring a cleaning service, and love myself during the process. I’ve up-talked how much I’ll love the area when it’s sanitary again, and how much I’ll love how quickly it will rent again. (Good music or a positive pod cast helps too.) No matter what, include love in as many ways as possible.
No
matter the project, we don’t have to hate (or dislike) ourselves as we do it,
and we don’t have to be unhappy while we’re doing it either.
My
talented sister-in-law made this cute wall hanging. (Notice that little heart?) Sometimes we think words of
love are only spoken between people, but they should also be spoken by us, and to us,
about ourselves. No one may ever speak love to us, especially in the ways
we need, want, or appreciate. That doesn’t mean we can’t speak it to ourselves,
our home, our environment, our responsibilities, our hopes, and our desires. When we speak love to ourselves it doesn't mean we're narcissistic or self-centered. It means we honor ourselves as counting, being capable and being valuable.
We should guard against allowing hatred into our lives in negative ways. We can hate a mess, but shouldn't let hatred consume us or be our sole motivator. Hatred alone can halt our ability to handle messes, love ourselves, or change unpleasant situations.
Remember
that when employing hatred, we should never direct it inward, or to ourselves, even if we made the
mess, didn’t prevent it, failed to stop it, or neglected to do
things about it sooner. Don’t succumb to hatred or any of its cousins. The relatives are easy to recognize: They’re wearing name badges saying: Dislike, Regret, Discouragement,
Despair, Depression, Self-incrimination, etc. They slink in prepared for a hostile
takeover. When they arrive, and they often do, enlist Love and its more powerful family members: Joy, Peace, Like, Sunshine, Happiness, Gratitude,
Improvement, etc. By mustering the forces of Love and kin we not only defend ourselves, but we fortify
ourselves, and we more easily end the war and enjoy life. An added bonus: we love ourselves during the process.*
When we begin a project, but start to fizzle out, focus on the words that are currently gaining power in your thoughts and speech. Listen to them—deeply listen to them. Hear their tone and the feel the emotions they produce. If they are weakening you—creating discouragement, sapping strength, causing dis-ease in any manner—return to love, positive words, and encouraging thoughts. Honestly, I'm aware this can be a very real and intense battle, but winning it, no matter the situation, is 100% worth it.
Fifth: Build a reservoir of love. This is a repository for positive words and improved thoughts that you can draw upon. The reservoir is your mind, heart and soul. Fill it with specific words and specific feelings you have sampled and tested that you've found work for you.
One way, out of many, that I do this is to congratulate and praise myself. Sometimes I need validation and encouragement during a hard process, or sometimes I don’t need it until afterward, and sometimes I don't need it at all, but there are times when I desperately do need mental or emotional help, and there isn't anyone around to give me what I need, except myself.
Example: Have you ever noticed no one realizes or thanks you when you put on a new roll of toilet paper? Long ago it annoyed me when the person who yanked off the last tiny square failed to replace it with a fresh one. In my long ago past I used all kinds of negative words to label the offender and the offense. No more! Because no one has ever thanked me—not even once—I took on that responsibility myself.
Often others don’t realize the effort and time we put into the ten-billion little things that make life more pleasant for all of us. What we do to prevent messes, inconveniences and emergencies also often goes unnoticed. And sometimes the big life-saving things go unthanked too.
Congratulating ourselves on developing an incredibly competent toilet paper changing skill (as well as other skills which are much more important), and not relying on others for recognition or appreciation by giving ourselves a high-five, thanking ourselves, and comparing the accomplishment to saving humanity (and sometimes it does), and developing an “I love myself and others while I do it” skill set, and other rewards like this, boost our ability to love ourselves, love others, and love doing the hard, as well as the easy things that need to happen.
Love deepens our sense of capability,
and lessens our irritability.
Anyone can moan about doing all the boring, menial, praiseless tasks, but it takes true talent and skill to dump negative attitudes, acting annoyed, fuming, or feeling sorry for ourselves. We can replace negative vibes with something positive and rewarding. Really, we can. And sometimes it only takes a few seconds.
Be positive.
Be genuine.
Be kind.
Be loving.
If you’re struggling with mindset or the concept of positive thinking, read positive thinking/acting books. Buy, check out, borrow or download them. Read blogs about positive thinking, and remember your own past positive experiences. While you read consider specific words to place in your reservoir that will improve your life. Start using them even if at first they sound foreign. Over time that will pass. Give a heave-ho to words that hinder you, and don't invite them back. That might seem foreign too if you've gathered an impressive collection. But we are capable of learning new languages, even within our own native tongue, even with words we've heard our whole lives but never applied in positive ways to ourselves.
I haven’t shared all there is to know about mindset or positive thinking—that’s impossible. In reality, I’ve barely scratched the surface. As you dive into a reservoir of loving words, I wish you lots of happiness, joy and success. I want you to love your life, and love your home where you live so much of your life.
~~Love, Leona
*Let me clarify—we can use hatred when applying it in positive, motivating ways, such as "I hate getting up to a sink full of yesterday's dirty dishes." But don't apply it in ways that discourage—or in negative ways—such as in the process of eliminating dirty dishes before morning, or to ourselves as we clean up the dirty dishes.
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